How Jasper and Edward Made the Yuletide Gay
by naughtyelfh00rs
Summary: During a Christmas visit to the hospital, Edward and Jasper sneak away from the family for some sexy, elf-costumed lovin'. Slash/Elf Porn.


**Elfporn: How Jasper and Edward Made the Yuletide Gay**

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><p>"Now remember," Carlisle warned. "Act <em>normal."<em>

Edward and Jasper nodded furiously, but Emmett was too busy yanking up his tight red and white striped elf leggings over his thick thighs.

"Emmett? Behave." Carlisle warned, his faux round belly shaking like jelly as he waddled toward the hospital entrance.

Edward was accustomed to the routine. He'd been helping out at the hospital for years. The children loved getting visits from Santa on Christmas. Plus, Edward felt surprisingly at home in his little green elf costume. (He insisted on green; red clashed with his hair.) He liked the way the tight pants showed off his ass.

Jasper liked the way Edward's ass looked too, but wasn't happy with the current state of his own. The small costume shop in Port Angeles hadn't had a third male elf costume and a quick game of rock, paper, scissors (which he'd never again play with Edward) ensured that he'd had to take the pink and white sparkly one that featured a skirt that was far, far too short. His ass was practically hanging out of it. Jasper tugged it down for the hundredth time as they reached the front door to the hospital.

"Come'on, it'll be fun!" Edward laughed, tugging on the blond curls that peeked out from under Jasper's fuzzy elf cap.

Jasper glowered, but his reaction was missed in the chaos that ensued as they entered the hospital.

A horde of nurses instantly descended on Carlisle, flirting shamelessly with him, despite Carlisle's best efforts to deflect their attention. Edward was fairly certain more than a few cheeks were pinched as they cooed over "Santa" and asked to sit on his lap.

Meanwhile most of the male nurses, not to mention a few physicians, and one janitor, trailed after Emmett as a hospital administrator tried to lead them all to the pediatric inpatient unit.

Edward, however, knew the layout of the hospital better than the others, having been through this many years in a row. "I know a shortcut," he hissed as he grabbed Jasper's arm and pulled him into an empty staircase.

"Thank god," Jasper groaned, pulling again on his little fur-lined skirt.

Edward smirked, feeling very much like the hottest elf in all of Forks, not that Jasper's costume didn't show off some of his boyfriend's best assets.

In fact, Edward realized, if they hurried...

"Jasper! Wait! If we hurry, I think I can fuck you in this stairwell before we give the children their gifts!"

"Really?" Jasper stopped tugging on his tights and looked up.

Edward grinned. "Totally. At the rate they're going, with that group in tow, it'll take them approximately 8.4 minutes to reach the 3rd floor. Which gives us..." Edward paused to think a moment. "Well, at least a minute and a half to spare."

Jasper approved, and he turned and shook his ass at Edward to prove it. Glancing over his shoulder, Jasper winked. "You gonna unwrap that package and take me or shall I ask the nurse in wing C if he's interested?"

Edward wasted not a moment more, yanking down his tight little pants and approaching Jasper, who bent over on the stairs, flipped up his skirt and peeled down his tights until he could spread his thighs comfortably.

Edward started to kiss Jasper, but Jasper protested. "There's no time for that!" he hissed, shoving his fingers into Edward's mouth. Edward licked and sucked like a child with candy cane and then watched with dark eyes as Jasper prepared himself quickly for Edward. It didn't take long until Edward was burying his length into the other elf's tight ass.

"Fuck."

"Oh god."

"Harder."

Jasper gasped and pushed back into Edward and the stairwell was filled with the sounds of bells ringing as their hats and shoes jingled with every thrust.

Six minutes and 13 seconds later (right on schedule), Jasper pinched his eyes shut and saw snowflakes as he came, as Edward panted and groaned as he finished right behind him.

"Fuck yeah."

"That was hot."

This time, Jasper let Edward kiss him before he remember their time crunch.

"Shit! We gotta get dressed!" Jasper yelped, standing up.

They both heard the sound of fabric tearing as Jasper did so. Horrified, they looked at Jasper's costume. His perfectly pink snowflake tights now had a run the length of Edward's cock right over Jasper's right knee and a tear even longer along his left ankle. His left shoe was unbuckled. His little beaded shirt was decimated near his left nipple. And he had a string of cum running down his chest, and a splotch of venom by his right hip. Also, his jacket was wrinkled.

"Son of a nutcracker!" Edward cried as Jasper's own string of obscenities was heard throughout the near wings of the hospital.

"You'll have to take them off," Edward decided, and tearing the ripped hose from Jasper's hairy legs.

"Asshole!" Jasper gaped, clinging to the rest of his clothing as Edward righted his own costume.

Edward shrugged. "You can't wear a substandard costume in front of the children!" He grabbed Jasper's arm and pulled him toward the door, not even giving Jasper enough time to straighten his sex-hair under his pink hat. "We'll get you some scrubs or something. Come on. We're gonna be late!"

Unfortunately, on the way to the supply closet for spare scrubs, Edward and Jasper ran into the gang of nurses, a few physicians, and one janitor, all led by a smiling Santa Carlisle and Emmett the elf.

"Ho, ho, ho! Oh, good! There are my other elves! Ho, ho, ho!" Carlisle announced, walking over to introduce them to the others.

"This is Edward the elf," he said proudly once he reached them. "And my other son is...Ho, ho, Holy shit!"

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><p><strong>Which naughty elf h00r wrote this? Leave a review and guess!<strong>


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